Let's be REAL.
Along my 29
years living, I have gone through 3 stages of weight- underweight, normal and
overweight and none of these stages were easy honestly. When I was in school, I
was slightly underweight for my age and height, I was basically skinny. I was
called so many names such as lizard, wood , paper and so much more – that they
didn’t know I’m not exactly skinny, I appeared to be more skinny because I
slouch, as I carried heavy bags and I was afraid to stand up straight as boys
will say things about my chest. I always have these enormous appetites when it
comes to eating – partly because I love food, partly because I want to gain
weight – perhaps it is nice not to be called names because of my body and just
hope to shut those dirty little mouths.
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| When I was in school - I was skinny and I'm fine with that |
Well, I
gained, little by little. My metabolic rate was good back then, so I managed to
eat a lot, but I didn’t gain much. I was skinny until I finished my Degree, and
my weight was normal. The comments are still there about my body and weight,
but as usual, I will just keep quiet or just give it a laugh because I’m just
exhausted to reply to heartless individuals who think they deserve to judge
and comment on people’s appearance or think it’s funny because ‘oh, I was just
joking’, hahaha! Well, it was not funny at all.
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| When I was in University |
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| When I dated my boyfriend - now my husband |
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| Loving my life, till today |
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| I can't fit this dress now haha but it's okay, I was super slim, not sure can I actually go back to this shape hahaha |
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| When I got married with the love of my life |
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| During the PTD training for a while |
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| During my FSTEP days. One year married |
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| I have been actively working out for the past 6 months till today with my husband |
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| Me during November 2019 Annual Dinner |
Then, I was
deeply in love with my boyfriend, who is now my husband and I saw my weight
gained to my desired weight goal – I was happy eating and in love! Some said "oh, you look nice", and some still with their bad choice of words and bad mouthing
about my body. I got married to my husband and my body kept on changing. My
body has become slightly thicker than before – well I was thinner and I was
fine and happy with these changes.
Some commented, I look nice, hot and so on,
some said I look chubby, put on weight, thick, thicc, and fat. Until today,
these are some of those words that some people love to comment on my weight and
body. Some even wish for me to get fat when I was skinny, and when I’m chubby
they said you should lose your weight, skinnier is better.
Some have known
me from young and when they saw my appearance had changed, they felt that ‘Sofia changed’.
Some who knew me only recently, surprisingly told me that I look good, much better
than before and so forth. I am currently focusing on my fat loss journey and
keeping fit and healthy with my husband. I feel I am happier and healthier now
than ever and feel so blessed to be given such support and motivation by my
husband – my pillar of strength. He understands my journey and never undermine
me.
Many people
out there, sometimes including ourselves tend to compare the ‘ideal weight or
body shape’ to super models and hot celebrities. If you are not as balanced as
them, you are not ideal, thus you are skinny and fat, never normal. Trust me,
everyone’s term of ‘ideal’ is different. Some might think body as a Victoria
Secret model is ideal, some might think body as the Kardashians are ideal, and
more.
The way people view beauty is not standard. I can be thin to some, I can be big size to some,
that’s just the world. To add, most people nowadays adore beauties that are
mostly fake with injections, make up, Photoshop, filters, and forget the real
beauty and accepting the real figure and look of a real woman without comparing
one women to another. Every women is different and every shape has its beauty
and uniqueness. Embrace them.
Yes, we
need to be aware with our weight to ensure that we are healthy and fit, but
please, rather than wasting your time commenting on people’s weight, focus on
yours and help other people positively if needed, never insult. Progress is
important, if a person is being active in sports, although their body is not as
desirable as you may think, support their journey, they are trying, and you? Typing or talking negatively can't make you lose weight or in shape - just saying. Just feel and think.
Why I share
this story? I believe it'snot just me who faced such name callings and bad
comments from people we know (which is worse) or we don’t know. I know many
people out there face the same issue. I have been dealing this name calling
and get bullied (which I will share more in some other posts) all my life, till
today.
Sometimes I just don’t understand and ask myself, why me. Is it
because I’m too nice to people and I tend to keep quiet when people talk and do
bad things to me. I did have moments that I fight back, but those were the days
that I felt is better to use peace than fire back at some. The most I can do
now is to educate people through my writing, which is my number one purpose why
I started writing and sharing.
Of course,
when you get bullied too much, you need to stand up. In fact, don’t let people
bully you at all, but sometimes it is unavoidable. The sad part is most of the
time, these bullies are the one that is close to you or you know them – it can
be your family members, close friends, colleagues and you name it, CLOSE or
KNOW.
Sometimes, it’s just so hard to say to their face, “Stop, I've had enough”.
These people don’t understand that their one word or collective and series of
questions and comments can ruin a person’s emotion, wellbeing and even relationships.
They think about themselves first rather putting themselves in someone else shoes
first before talking and acting. Some might say ‘Oh, I rather be blunt’, ‘This
is who I am’, ‘I said out loud’, ‘You’re too sensitive’, and the list never
ends.
It’s commendable
to be honest, but there are always ways to say things. Choose your words
wisely. If you want to provide feedback, provide them constructively, learn if
you must. If someone is sensitive, does that mean you are insensitive? I realized
that most who said to me that I was sensitive, their sensitiveness is actually
worse than me. They can tell people, but they can’t accept if people tell them
off. I rather be sensitive and feel, yet still can control my emotions and act
accordingly than being insensitive or ignorant.
These
bullies, they like to bully people, but they forgot to put a mirror in front of
them and thought they were the perfect one. They talk about people’s appearance,
relationship and so much more, but they didn’t reflect themselves. Sad truth. Hurtful
intentional words and actions might hurt someone so bad that you can never
imagine. One bad person in life is enough to ruin someone, what if you are one
of the thousands, ever thought of that?
I believe people can change, that’s
why I give people chances, and that’s why I get bullied day by day, ouch~yeah I
know. Some I can bare and I help to make them realise and help them change.
Some are just brutal and when I have done everything I could and my very best, but
nothing change, I pray and leave in God’s hands. At the end of the day, I try
not to be these people that hurt people badly and try to be a better me, God
bless.
If you noticed from all the photos, you can see how much I grow and change across this year, and for me this is perfectly fine. I'm a human being and I am blessed I have the opportunity to age and change throughout my life.
If you noticed from all the photos, you can see how much I grow and change across this year, and for me this is perfectly fine. I'm a human being and I am blessed I have the opportunity to age and change throughout my life.
I write
this to provide awareness, so people can note if they are doing it or they are
facing it, either way, hope it helps you and will provide you some light ways
to ease your journey in life. Life is tough, people make it tough,
unfortunately. We need to be stronger than ever.
If you are getting bullied,
stand up for your rights in the right way. Be close and stay with those who
support and uplift you. This will help you undergo the tough moments in life. May
we find strength and kindness in peace.
Be happy,
strong, healthy and fit. Love yourself inner and outer and be kind! Thank you for reading. Till next!
Luv
Luv
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| Me now - choose to be happy :) |
