There was a time when social media didn’t exist. And yet, even then, I wasn’t spared from sexual harassment - just because I was a woman.
Because of my gender, my looks, my energy. Just existing as I am. Some people thought it was okay to cross lines, to say things, to violate without touch - but with words, eyes, tone, and entitlement.
Then came social media - and it got worse. Not better.
When I wasn’t wearing the hijab, I was objectified. I was told to cover up if I didn’t want attention.
And guess what? It didn’t stop even after I'm covered.
It got even worse.
You see, people assume that the hijab protects you from being sexualised. But they forget there are sick minds out there who fetishise women because of the hijab. They have this twisted kink - one that turns modesty into fantasy. One that strips dignity from the very cloth meant to protect it.
Let me be clear: I wear the hijab because of my faith in Allah, not because of society, pressure, or expectations. If I wore it just to please people, I probably would’ve taken it off by now. Because after I wore it, the sexualisation didn’t stop - it escalated. And to be honest, it became scarier. The sickness is in them, not in our appearance.
I’m not the only one who goes through this.
Too many women have reached out to me - from all walks of life. Different races. Different faiths. Some post a selfie, some share their art, some show up on live video just to talk about life - and somehow, they still get sexualised. Because once you’re a woman on the internet, especially a visible one, you’re automatically a target.
THE DARK SIDE OF VIRALITY
People often assume we post something for attention. That we want the comments. That we enjoy the validation. That we deserve the abuse.
But here’s what they don’t see:
Even when we post a fully-clothed photo, a casual day out, a motivational talk, or a story with purpose - someone, somewhere, is twisting it into porn in their mind.
They screenshot. They save. They re-upload.
They create fake profiles.
They violate you in silence.
They turn your normal into their fantasy.
Even our voices aren’t safe anymore.
Even a harmless smile or laugh gets reposted in creepy corners of the internet.
And this has happened to me, over and over again, and to many more other women out there.
A study by Plan International (2020) found that 58% of women and girls worldwide have experienced online harassment. In Malaysia, CyberSecurity Malaysia reported over 4,700 cyber harassment complaints in 2023, many of which involve sexual threats, sextortion, and exploitation.
IT’S NOT US. IT’S THEM.
Let me make this clear: the problem isn’t the content. It’s the consumer.
It’s not us - women, creators, teachers, speakers, artists - sharing life, love, and light.
It’s them - the disturbed minds, the broken systems, the predators hiding behind fake accounts.
Women have asked me, “How do I report this? Where do I go?”
They are terrified, humiliated, silenced. And I get it - because I’ve been there too.
But most of all, they’re tired.
Tired of being blamed.
Tired of reporting and being ignored.
Tired of a society that still asks, “What were you wearing? Why did you post that?”
And honestly, I’ve heard too many times this same rhetoric: “Women should just stop posting.” “Stay off social media.” “Stay inside.”
As if we shouldn’t even exist.
As if our presence itself is a provocation.
Whatever we do is wrong. Whatever we wear is wrong.
This mindset is sick and dangerous.
How can we progress as a society if half of it is told to hide, to shrink, to stay silent?
If a woman crosses the line, hold her accountable - yes, we must be responsible too.
But when we’re simply existing, working hard, creating value, giving back - why are we punished?
Why are we demonised just for taking care of ourselves?
Women should be celebrated, not oppressed.
We are the backbone.
We are mothers, leaders, nurturers, thinkers, fighters.
We carry life and legacy.
We raise sons and daughters.
We balance strength and softness in ways the world doesn’t even understand.
And yet, when a woman speaks out, she’s called too much. Too loud. A feminist.
While men walk free doing whatever they want, saying whatever they want, consuming whatever they want.
This culture must stop.
Men who corrupt, disrespect, or distort the image of good women - you are the problem.
You are not a man - you are a coward hiding behind lust and false power.
“The best of you are those who are best to their women.”
- Prophet Muhammad ﷺ (Tirmidhi)
“Tell the believing men to lower their gaze and guard their modesty: that is purer for them.”
- Surah An-Nur, 24:30
Men must rise. In character. In integrity. In responsibility.
Stop undressing women with your eyes.
Stop pointing at clothes while hiding your own brokenness.
Teach your sons what it means to honour - not violate.
Raise boys who become protectors - not predators.
THE UNTOUCHED DARK WEB OF OUR OWN BACKYARD
We also need to talk about the hidden, rotten underbelly - the DS accounts (dark side accounts), Telegram groups, and so-called “private” spaces that circulate sexual content, stolen photos, and porn without remorse.
There are local Telegram groups dedicated to sharing “hijabi nudes,” “purdah girls,” “pregnant women fantasies,” and even Malaysian porn stars who parade openly without fear of consequences.
There are dating apps designed for casual sex, with no accountability. Some men scout for women in these spaces just to exploit and expose. What’s worse, there are groomers - men who seek out underaged girls or fetishise minor-looking profiles, and no one stops them.
There are even fetish communities targeting women who wear full niqab, older women, and visibly pregnant women. Nothing is sacred anymore.
According to the Malaysian Royal Police (PDRM), online child sexual grooming cases rose by 300% between 2020 and 2022, and most of these predators operate through fake social media profiles.
How can this happen?
How did we get here?
We need real action. Not just policies - forces.
The police, enforcement agencies, and relevant ministries must form dedicated digital crime units to:
- Sweep and shut down fake accounts
- Track and charge local porn stars, DS users, Telegram group admins, and online sex predators
- Investigate dating apps and forums that allow underage content or exploitation
- Monitor the digital underground that’s destroying our children and values
- They must charge these offenders in accordance with cybercrime and sexual exploitation laws, not just give warnings.
And on the tech side, every social media platform must start removing:
- Pornographic content
- Hypersexualised dances or poses
- Suggestive thumbnails and "suggested for you" exploitative content
- Sexually explicit hashtags or pages
TECH SOLUTION: TRACEABLE DIGITAL IDENTITY
To stop fake accounts and abuse, it’s time to link every new social media account to verified identification. This doesn’t mean losing anonymity - but creating accountability.
Suggestions:
- Link accounts to national ID, verified phone numbers, or facial verification
- Prevent duplicate accounts without consent
- Limit access for underage users through age verification AI
- Track abuse reports to unique digital fingerprints - even if they change usernames
- If bank accounts require identity, if businesses require SSM or tax info - why not hold social media users to the same standard when it involves public content and human safety?
This is how we reduce cybercrime, grooming, impersonation, scams, and rape culture at its source.
YES, WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT ACCOUNTABILITY. FOR ALL.
Let’s be real.
There’s a porn culture on social media now.
There’s no use sugarcoating it.
Some people post for the wrong reasons. Sexualised dances. Explicit content. Provocative thirst traps. Let’s not lie and say this doesn’t exist. It does.
And when you post that kind of content, you’re not just expressing yourself - you’re also shaping a digital environment. One that normalises lust, fast dopamine, and objectification.
Freedom of expression comes with responsibility.
We’re not here to shame - but to call in.
Because when you’re building a world where women and men are lured into hypersexualised loops for attention or money, you’re contributing to the very system that makes everyday women unsafe online.
And when society becomes numb to this, we all pay the price.
SO WHAT CAN WE DO?
We need to wake up. All of us.
We need a digital culture where:
- Consent is respected—even online
- Victims are heard, not blamed
- Fake accounts are banned
- Sexual predators are named and charged
- Platforms act fast, not just for PR
- Families educate, not ignore
In Malaysia, if you’ve been a victim of online sexual harassment, you can report:
- Cyber999 (CyberSecurity Malaysia): help@cybersecurity.my | 1-300-88-2999
- MCMC: aduan.mcmc.gov.my
- WAO: WhatsApp +6018-9888058
- Police (D11 unit): for sexual crimes involving women and children
- Talian Kasih (15999): For abuse, including online abuse
MY CLOSING PRAYER
I pray for a world where girls can post without fear.
Where boys are taught self-control, not dominance.
Where content creators build responsibly.
Where society stops glorifying pornified culture.
Where we raise humans, not predators.
And I pray that one day, I no longer receive another DM from a woman asking, “Sofie, how do I make them stop?”
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